Test: Either tomorrow’s post will be interesting, or it won’t be.
I’m running into what might result in a failure spiral. I get a little aversion, things build up, something big happens, I feel worse, a lot of things don’t happen, I start guilt tripping myself, and then I train in even more aversion.
I think this is how derailment works. Something bad happens and you feel unhappy enough that it negatively conditions everything you want to do, which adds friction, and then makes it easier to fail and guilt trip and negatively condition until all of it’s gone.
That being said, I think I can stop it from ending that way.
Tonight I’ll write a step-by-step list of what I’m doing tomorrow. Sequences of motor actions if possible.
Then tomorrow I’ll do it. It’s obvious that I can do it, so it’s just a matter of execution.
Once I start executing, things will seem less hopeless. I’ll stop building up aversions to the easy stuff. It will be contained.
Then I’ll deal with the hard stuff. I’ll have momentum.
Anyway, yeah. Lets see how that works out.
Just need to make it to a piece of paper…
Either I become incredibly pessimistic and inaccurate when I feel bad, or writing checklists helps a lot in dealing with problems. I talked over things a bit after the list, and they got way better, and when I woke up today I was fine.